Having spent a week in the fantastic Chamonix-valley I am now back at home. The weather was great, the snow fantastic and we had a super time. The only small drawback was the amount of people in the slopes that was only there, it seemed, to bother other skiers. To make it really easy for everyone, I decided to make a list that people can check everytime they want to go skiing. If you are on the list, please, for the health and safety of everyone, go to the seaside. Brighton is lovely in January. Really.
So here goes, people that should be banned from skiing.
1) People plowing – if you dont know how to ski with your skis parallell, stay away.
2) People who were plowing during skischool in the morning, and want to show off their new skills in the middle of the pists, or even worse, off piste, in the afternoon – sorry, but it takes a bit more than a 45 minute instruction by a cute French guy with a funny accent to learn to ski.
3) English people – there is a reason England is completely flat.
4) English people plowing in the pists in the afternoon.
5) Americans complaining that the French dont speak English, that the gondolas are too full, that ‘Vail and Aspen are much more civilized’ – well, go there please.
6) People riding two and two on a four seater – do you see the people behind you? We are not admiring the engineering of the lift, we are queing.
7) People waiting for their friends directly in front the lift – please step aside, we do not want to wait as well.
8) People ascending the pist – the pists for descending. If you want to climb I would estimate that 99% of mountains are without pists, so there should be plenty to choose from.
9) People that are colorblind – if you are a beginner, the green pists are for you.